=========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:00) Number: 442905 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: Hello Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I thought that I would write you all a collection of some of my wonderfully stupid poems and see what you think of them. They are pretty dumb so bear with me. DEATH OF ANTS Red ants, black ants Big ol' fire ants Crawling all around All over the ground Oh! God! Now they're on me Stop them! Ouch! Ouch! Die little ant DIE! Woah! I feel much better now Now all the ants are gone Gone out of this world All the ants no longer crawl around And bother little girls Or was it squirrels? DAMN ANTS Woah! A kite. =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:03) Number: 442938 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: Continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- And yet more stupid poems by me. LITTLE GREEN FRIENDS All my green friends, Talk to me. About being cool, And having parties. There's Gumby, And the great Gazoo. Then there's Scumby, And a dog that moo's. The little green man, On top of my house. Said that I, Look like a mouse. I hit him, Smack dab on the head. There's a little green dot, And a slice of bread. My little green friends, Are nice to me. Whether being in a band, Or screwing in a tree. =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:05) Number: 442939 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: Continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- And yet more dumb poems by me. SALVATION ARMY MAN 5 cent shirt, 2 dollar shoes. Messed up hair, And faded blues. Never use soap. Greasy fingers, And he sells dope. Lives in a can, Down the road. He doesn't even have, A working comode. Doesn't ever take a bath, I think he's related to .... Stephie Graff! =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:08) Number: 442941 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- GREASY Dirty clothes And slicked down hair Salvation army jacket And no money to spare He comes to school In warm up suits And flannel shirts And cowboy boots He has no style No home or car He spends his night Hanging out in bars He has no class Or razor or soap My guess is he's related To the Pope. Sorry if this offends anybody. =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:11) Number: 442942 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- COTTON PICKIN' CHICKEN LOVERS Cotton outside Looks ready for pickin' But I'd rather be inside Fryin' some chicken Curiosity killed the cat But not the cock After the ax fell It silenced it's last bok bok Cotton needs pickin' Don't ya know It looks real fluffy And white as snow Yet the only gin I got Is the kind you drink It doesn't pick cototn It just helps me think It's a great bootleg It's top grade And on chicken It's great marinade =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:15) Number: 442945 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- MISTER TIGHTWAD SECURITY OFFICER Mr. Tightwad security officer Can I borrow a dime If I let you May I rip out your spine Mr. Tightwad security officer Is really cheap He won't even pay The chimney sweep Mr. tightwad security officer Has lots of money But instead he buys The Kroger brand honey Mr. tightwad security officer Could afford much more Why he has enough To buy ten whores Mr. tightwad security officer Like I said is cheap Why he wouldn't pay a penny To post bail for Little Bo Peep Mr. tightwad security officer Is now dead and gone And he kept all his cash Buried under the lawn Mr. tightwad security officer BITE ME! =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:18) Number: 442948 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- OUCH! MY EYE Pulling a pen Out of my eye I let out a yell And start to cry OUch! My poor little eye didn't see a doctor or a nurse my eye's infected where's my purse weeks later i got real mean come to find out i had gangrene my eye is gone it is no fun sometimes it hurts to look at the sun =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:22) Number: 442949 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- I really don't want to offend anyone with this, but Video Goddess suggested that I put it in. MELBA TOAST melba toast on a plate people at the table start to masticate i really don't know why i'm here your momma has a 'fro and your daddy is a queer you like to clean your ears with q-tips you wear more polyester than gladys knight's pips your teeth are worse than the chili-peppers flea you probably powder your face with DDT your boot lickin' bastard without an ounce of class you probably wash your face with broken glass spam on the table bulls on your face I MEAN BOILS ON YOUR FACE yams in the coffee and you shave with mace you're uncle is rikki rachtman you're aunt is kennedy so you're condemned to eat tofu throughout eternity =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:24) Number: 442952 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- DEMMURE it's cold outside my lips are froze pardon me can i break your nose only if it's out of love you turn to me and start to shove i ain't no bastard bitch or whore how dare you slam my head in the door have you not an ounce of class i told you once you can kiss my ass blue star ointment has a cure for jock itch ringworm, psorisis did someone say demmure it is really cold outside i would shoot you but the rules i must abide hey! there's a gravy boat in the sink :) =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:28) Number: 442953 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- SCUZ chain saws buzzin' mama's out scuzzin' tilling the yard in the heat of the day doesn't matter at all cause the neighbor's dog is gay this is what conway is all about a bunch of old farmers gettin' ready for a drought this is uncool it makes no sense my dog starts to drool i just ran over the fence =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:30) Number: 442954 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: continuation Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- UNTITLED i went to Palarm the other day all i saw was a creek, and some hay except for the run down liquor store and a little street corner full of whores but if you want to really party with me let's travel down to menifee the truck stop is full of grease they have a liquor store and a corner for lease all these places are really great i like them all they make me irate so keep this in mind on your next trip if you go you'll be real hip =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-24-95 (02:37) Number: 442955 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: commentary Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is a commentary that i wrote in the uca computer room. STINKY FAT GUY As I sit at this here computer my eyes begin to burn and my ears being to bleed at the horrible sound of the printer. Thousands of people are in here and you can smell the awful scent of the obese guy sitting in the back who obviously had too many beers and not enough soap or deodorant. I feel as if I am surrounded by millions of stupid people who have not yet learned the joys of bathing. I feel like getting up and saying "Hey there you ugly, obese, pizza eating, beer drinking, non-bathing, butt-sniffing, maggot.........take a damn bath!" But remembering that I have a little tact makes me decide not to do so. You see, usually the tact part would not get in my way, but for some reason I feel differently today. As I quietly inspect the desk I see inscriptions such as: BOBBY THE BUTT MUNCHING OVEREATER WAS HERE! Broken pencils and the ever appetite breaking sight of chewed bubble gum. I sit and look at it and think "hey! this person has very good taste in gum!" as I realize that it is that new mambo melon flavored stuff. I am tempted to chew it but then I think of the germs and I chew it anyway. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. My thoughts are overflowing at this moment as I look around as if I am in a mental hospital at all the lovely occupants of this room.....I have a poem for you now. Stinky fat guy who smells real bad his mom's ugly and so is his dad he eats pizza and leftover toothpaste he never lets anything go to waste he has carrots in between his teeth his face looks like the corral reef he smells so bad he runs off his dog his mom makes him eat with the slop hogs =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-26-95 (02:37) Number: 444597 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: Hey Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- As i sit here tonigh ti have the sudden urge to just jump up and yell HECK at the top of my lungs but instead i will enlighten you with a poem WELL well i am cool well bugs to crawl Well this poem is uncool well hit me head against a wall well stab me with a knife Or throw be overboard Well i will just shut the hell up I am being ignored =========================================================================== BBS: The Cutting Edge! Date: 09-26-95 (14:53) Number: 444788 From: FLANNEL WOMAN Refer#: NONE To: ** ALL ** Recvd: NO Subj: hey Conf: (72) Nirvana --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey i thoughti would write a poem real fast Lassie is a dog She is kind of cool But when she sees Timmy SHe sure does start to drool ANd if anyone found out Would she commit doggycude? i mean cidde