M  E  M  O  R  A  N  D  U  M

To: Michael Ovitz
Fm: Marketing
Re: Movie Proposal

Supreme Lord:

We have received your directive concerning capitalizing on the recent
developments at The Snider Cutting Snider Edge Snider Snider Snider,
and have prepared the following proposal:

I am sure I do not have to familiarize you with the Cutting Edge and
its history as you, like most Californians, have been following the
bulletin board's story avidly for the past few months.  What you may
not know, however, is that we have recently secured the movie rights
to the once-popular children's cartoon series "Scooby Doo".  

Since we could not match the ridiculous offers for the rights to the
TSCSESSS! story, our suggestion is this: we make a movie ostensibly
about the Scooby Doo show, but we make the characters and storyline
resemble the prinicples and events at TSCSESSS.  This way we can 
market both to the children's audience and to the savvy adult audience
who understands what we are REALLY talking about.

I have taken the liberty of attaching an advance copy of the script.
If you decide to go through with this, we can release the necessary
monies immeditately.

enc: Script

M/dd
cc: Eisner, Walt's Vault
t:\disney\marketing\projects\AR\tscsesss.doc


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                      SCOOBY DOOBIE DIO
                          the movie

                              by
                      Quentin Tarantino


OPENING CREDITS:

Old cartoon-style credits with the Scooby Doobie Dio theme song
performed by U2:

Lyrics:

Scooby Doobie Dio,
where'd you go?
We've got some work to do now,
Scooby Doobie Dio,
where'd you go?
We need some help from you now.

Scooby Doobie Dio,
don't dis me, bro,
pretending you've got some Greek on,
You're not foolin' me,
'cause I can see,
You're sittin' there in Tcon.

You know we've got a mystery
and we want Scooby Dio gettin' in the act,
Don't hold back!
And Scooby Dio if you 
You're gonna have yourself a doobie snack,
that's a fact!

Scooby Doobie Dio,
you're my hero,
you're ready and you're willin'
Come on Scooby Dio,
let's start the show,
I know you'll catch that villian....


SCENE 1:
(F/X: Dark and Stormy Night, howling wind)

It is a dark and stormy night.  Camera drops down through the boiling
clouds and pouring rain onto a mountain road.  It focuses on a toad
in the middle of the road for several seconds.  

Suddenly, the toad's eyes bulge, it croaks, and it jumps away.  We
hear a vehicle approaching and the camera lifts to catch an oncoming
headlight 2 feet away.  

The camera stays with the headlight as if rolling backwards with the car,
and we see to the right the landscape flying by.  The camera moves up
to the windshield of what appears to be a van.  We can vaguely see
a man driving the car and a couple of figures to his right in the car.

As the washers move over the windshield, we glimpse two women as
passengers: one with long red hair and one with short brown hair.
The man has curly blonde hair.  The van passes around a curve and 
the camera pans around to the side of the van.  

We can now see the van is green with psychedelic colors blurring
in the rain.  The words "Mystery Machine" are written on the side
of the van.  As we move to the back we see the left back tire blow out
and the van skews sideways, careens off of the steep hillside, slides
back across the road and comes to a stop just short of a ditch.

The camera pans around to the back of the van as we see two houses.
The van has stopped across the ditch from a picket fence, behind which
is a simple country home.  In the background, however, at the top of a
lightning-illuminated hill, we see, just for an instant, a the 
sillouhuete of a large and forboding ancient manor.

The van's back doors open and two bodies spill out, a man and a dog,
illuminated from the inside of the van.  Clouds of some kind of smoke
pour out of the back of the van and as the smoke clears we see
Shaggy (Cosmo, played by Steve Buscemi) and Scooby (Diogenes, played
by the Bean Dog) sitting in the mud.

Shaggy: "Like, whoooooooa, man!" (shakes head to sound effect) 
Scooby: "Rooooooo!  I'm rrrizzy!" (holds head in paws)

A flashlight hits Shaggy's face as Fred (Autox, played by James Spader)
walks around the back of the van.  

Fred: "Come on guys, stop goofing off, we've gotta get back on the
road before this storm gets REALLY bad!"
Scooby: "Ruh-uh!"
Fred: "Come on, Scooby!"
Scooby: "Ruh-uh!  Ro way!"
Fred: "Why not, Scooby?"
Scooby: "Roook!" (wiggles paw at back tire, which is flat)
Shaggy: "Oh man, flat city!  Well, wake me when it's changed, man!"

Shaggy jumps back into van and goes to sleep.

Fred grabs Shaggy's shoes and pulls him into the mud.  Shaggy jumps
up and starts shaking his head.

Shaggy: "Like, what was all that about, man?"
Fred: "I COULD change the tire if you hadn't decided to make a 
bong out of our only spare, Shaggy.  We're going to have to go 
for help."
Shaggy: "Whoa, bad move.  You're gonna fire me, Fred, I just know it."

Daphne's voice: "What's going on, guys?"

Daphne (Dark Shadow, played by Jaye Davidson) and Velma (Isaboe,
played by Amanda Pays) show up behind Fred.

Velma: "Yeah, this rain is the pits!"
Fred: "We've got a flat tire, girls.  And no spare."
Daphne: "Oh, no!"

Offscreen voice: "You kids'er in a real pickle!"

All: "WHAT?!?!?!?!"

(camera pans over to fence on the other side of ditch.  A man in 
overalls and a straw hat is leaning on the fence with a piece of 
hay in his mouth, grinning a gap-toothed grin at our heroes)

Man: "Eeeeeheeeheeeheeeheeheeheeee!" 
(laughs derangedly as lightning flashes in the background)
(Cut to commercial for TV version)

-----------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 2: 

(show last few seconds of hayseed's evil laugh)
Scooby: "Rellllpy!" (jumps into Shaggy's arms)
Shaggy: "I'm history, man!" (jumps into van.  A second later his arm
snakes out and slams the back door)

Fred: "Who are you?"
Man: "I'd druther not say, lessin somebuddy decides to sue somebuddy
for defamation!  But I live here, young feller!" (points to a 
dilapidated shack in the background.  A small figure can be seen
standing on the porch.
Daphne: "I'm getting cold, Fred!"
Man: "Why don't you young'uns come inside and get the chill off,
and we can talk about that there flat tahr!"

Fred knocks on the door of the Mystery Machine.  The door slowly opens
just a hair and Scooby's nose pokes out:
Scooby: "Robuddy rome! Ro away!"
Fred: "Come on, guys, there's nothing to be afraid of!"
Scooby: "Ro!  Rary ran from reriverance!"
Fred: "He's friendly!  Come on, Scooby!"
Scooby: "Rokay!" 

(dissolve to inside of shack.  The gang is perched on various old
country seats: a wicker chair, a rain barrel, a falling-apart
couch.  A fireplug of a woman with close-cropped hair sits in a 
rocking chair and the hayseed paces in front of a small fireplace.  
The camera pans around to show all the teenagers and we see 
various things hanging on the wall: clay pots, a racoon head,
two possum heads, a velvet Elvis, a Hank Williams Jr. poster.  Pots
and buckets are all over the place, catching water dripping from 
the ceiling.  Shaggy and Scooby are both holding buckets to catch
water dripping onto their seats)

Hayseed: "...yah, thangs were purty good here at first.  The rent
was cheap, and we had all the room we needed."
Wife: "Yep."
Hayseed: "But then thangs changed.  An awful lot of people started
showin' up in them covered wagons and settling all over the land.:
Wife: "Yep."
Hayseed: "And ahr landlord usta be a reg'lar guy, just like you'r me.
Now the place is run by that Count guy that lives up in that there
castle on top of that there mountain."

Wife: "Yep.  And now all of a sudden this Count wants us to pay all
kinds of new taxes and fees."
Hayseed: "Uh-huh."
Wife: "We gotta pay extra to get ahr mail put right in the box,
we got less room than we usta, and he keeps raisin' the rent on us."
Hayseed: "Uh-huh."
Wife: "I'm gettin' scared.  I don't know what we're gonna do now.  
This place used to be run by people we knew, reglar folks like you
and me.  It's like somethin' real bad happened to this Count guy."
Hayseed: "Uh-huh"
Wife: "He don't ever come out durin' the day anymore, and we hear
all kinds of weird noises from up that mountain at night.  And,
and...I hate to say it, but some folks've gone missin' the past
couple of weeks."

Hayseed: "Uh-huh.  So ya see, we'd like to help you with yer flat,
but I had to sell all mah tools to pay last month's rent and the
nearest fix-it shop is a good hop away from here."
Wife: "Yep."
Hayseed: "So ahm afraid if you fellers want anything, yer gonna
have to go see...."
Wife: "The Count." 
(lightning flashes dramatically through the window.  Quick shot of 
Scooby dropping his bucket and dissapearing in a blur)

Fred: "Well, that's real interesting.  It sounds like you have a real
mystery on your hands.  I'll get to it as soon as I can.  Come on,
guys, let's go!"
<everybody starts walking out the door)
Fred: "Wait, where's Scooby?  Scooby Dioooooooooo, where'd you go?"

Scooby: "Rin here!"
(Fred looks around, then we see Scooby's eyes in the dark under
the shack's only bed.  Scooby cautiously pokes his nose out)
Fred: "Come on, Scooby Dio!"
Scooby: "Rokay!"
(the gang leaves)

-----------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 3: 
(1 week later)

The gang is gathered around the mystery machine.  A makeshift tent
has been set up and Shaggy is cooking hot dogs over a coleman
stove.

Velma: "Hey Fred, shouldn't we do something about those poor people
and that Count?"
Fred: "Sure.  I'll do something about it tomorrow."

-----------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 4:
(3 weeks later, morning)

The gang is still around the Mystery Machine.  Velma is cutting
Shaggy's hair and Scooby is digging in the back of the van
looking for food.

Velma: "Fred, we're out of food now.  Shouldn't we go check out that
Count character now?"
Fred: "Sure, just a second..."

-----------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 5:
(that evening)

Fred: "Okay, guys, let's go.  Time's-a-wasting!"
Shaggy: "Oh great, man.  It's like almost dark and all now."
Fred: "Never mind that, let's go!"

(shift scene to our crew walking up the mountain road)
Daphne: "Are you really sure we should be doing this?"
Fred: "Well our tire isn't fixing itself, and besides which I have
a feeling there's more to this Count than meets the eye."
Shaggy: "Yeah, man, he's probably like some spooky ghost or 
something!"
Scooby: "RHOST??!?!?" (stops dead in his tracks)
Fred: "Now, don't be silly, guys.  He probably just has a skin
condition or something and can't come out during the day."
Shaggy: "You mean like Michael Jackson?"
Fred: "Uhhh...yeah."
Shaggy: "Okay, man."
Velma: "Hey, guys, I think I see the castle!"

(around a bend we see a huge wrought-iron gate with a leering 
gargoyle at the top.  Gothic letters spell out "Castle Snidervania"
on one of the pillars to either side of the gate.  Through the
gate we see lightning-blasted trees on a grassless hill with a
cobblestone path leading up to your typical scary-looking castle.)

Shaggy: "Whoa, man, spook city!"

(we see the castle more closely.  An empty moat is crossed by a 
drawbridge which leads to two huge wooden doors.  The sun is 
setting behind one of the two parapets and no activity can be
seen on the battlements.  The castle is apparently all one
building and has no courtyard or stable.  A number of barred
windows look out over the hillside.  The only vegetation 
besides the blasted trees are a few shrubberies shaped like
animals near the drawbridge.)

Fred: "Give me a hand with this gate, Shaggy!"

Fred and Shaggy pull with all their might on the gate, which 
opens with a mighty shriek.  (shot of Scooby as the gate
shrieks with all his hair standing on end).  

Velma: "Well, here goes nothing!" (walks through the gate,
everyone follows)

(cut to scene of the gang walking across the drawbridge.  They
approach the doors, each of which has a huge iron knocker in
the shape of a nipple with a ring through it.  Fred grabs one
of the rings and knocks on the door three times.  The loud
knocks echo eerily...)

Shaggy (three seconds later): "Well, that's it.  Nobody's home.
Let's go back to the van!"
Daphne: "Wait, I think I hear something!  Listen!"

As the gang gathers around the doors we hear a strange shuffling
noise, like someone pulling a chest of drawers, getting closer
to the doors.  The shuffling gets louder and louder and finally
stops.   Two seconds later one of the doors creeeeeeeeps open.

voice: "Yessssssssssss?"

A misshapen head pokes out of the doorway.  As the camera moves
around and the light hits the form inside we see a hunchbacked
man with long stringy hair covering only half his head and a
plethora of warts and moles.  His eyes are milky and wander
distractingly and a hairlip curls to reveal yellowed, cracked,
and mostly missing teeth.  His skin is a ghastly white pallor,
and he appears bent under the weight of an enormous hump which
erups from his shoulders and upper back.  His legs are crooked
and teeter under the strain of holding his body upright, and
hands with long fingers and long nails clutch at the air at
the end of thin dangling arms.  The man wears a tattered black
robe held closed by a filthy and raveled rope.

Igor (Wired Child, played by Larry Drake): "What wisssssshes joo
at Cassssssstle Sssssssssnidervania?"

Shaggy and Scooby are unmoving, paralyzed with shock.  Daphne
steps quickly behind Fred.  Velma, occupied with polishing her
glasses, doesn't see the hunchback clearly yet.

Velma: "What, another talking dog?" (puts on glasses) "Oh.  My."
Fred: "Our van has a flat and we were looking for some help."
Igor: "Ah yesssssssss.  Come in, Come in."

(the crew is ushered into a large foyeur.  Archways lead to 
as-yet unseen rooms and a huge staircase follows the curve of
the back wall to an upper balcony.  Shaggy and Scooby come out
of their paralysis, look at each other, shrug, and go inside)

Daphne: "So are you the Count?"
Igor: "No, my massssster issss, ummmm, indissssposssed at the
moment.  I am Igor, hisss faithful ssservant.  Joo must be the
young folksssss who have been camping out on the road below.
My massssster has been eagerly awaiting joo..."
Shaggy: <gulp>
Igor: (heading towards stairs) "Pleasssse, take a load off your
feet, or wait in the drawing room.  My masssster will be down
sssssshortly.  I go to attend him now..." (shuffes up the stairs
and dissapears down a hallway upstaris)

Fred: "Okay, great.  Let's get a look at this castle before the
Count makes his appearence.  Daphne and I will explore the bottom
floor.  Velma, you and Shaggy check out the upstairs, but make 
sure you don't disturb the Count.  Scooby, you stay here and
make sure no one enters or leaves the castle."
Scooby: (looking around in fear) "ruh-uh!"
Fred: "Aw, come on, Scooby Dio!"
Scooby: (looking at an ominous suit of armor) "RO WAY!"
Fred: "Not even for a doobie snack?"
Scooby: (puts paw to chin, thinks for a second) "ruh-uh!"
Fred: (pulls out a foil package and removes two brownies from
it) "Not even for TWO doobie snacks?"
Scooby: (drops paw, perks ears) "ROKAY!"

Fred tosses Scooby the two brownies.  Scooby deftly catches them
on his tongue and gulps them down.  Fred and Daphne head through
one of the archways and Shaggy and Velma head upstairs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
SCENES 6-12:
[incomplete]

-----------------------------------------------------------------
SCENE 13:

Shaggy motors, Scooby pisses all over Fred and Igor and buys
his OWN Mystery Machine, Fred moves to New Orleans, Igor gets a
better henchman job, Velma joins a cult, Daphne sits around
wondering where everybody went.  The End.